1 00:00:46,287 --> 00:00:47,686 2 00:00:48,607 --> 00:00:50,404 3 00:00:51,327 --> 00:00:52,919 4 00:00:53,807 --> 00:00:55,001 5 00:00:56,767 --> 00:00:59,281 6 00:00:59,327 --> 00:01:01,318 7 00:01:02,287 --> 00:01:03,959 8 00:01:05,527 --> 00:01:07,119 9 00:01:08,167 --> 00:01:09,759 10 00:01:10,647 --> 00:01:11,841 11 00:01:13,647 --> 00:01:16,161 12 00:01:16,207 --> 00:01:17,799 13 00:01:18,807 --> 00:01:21,367 14 00:01:21,407 --> 00:01:23,398 15 00:02:03,127 --> 00:02:05,561 - And three, thank you. - Thank you. 16 00:02:21,847 --> 00:02:23,280 (Girl) Ouch! 17 00:02:23,927 --> 00:02:25,963 - Ow. - Keep still. 18 00:02:26,007 --> 00:02:28,157 Look, do you mind, you're hurting. 19 00:02:28,207 --> 00:02:29,879 It's all part of the training. 20 00:02:29,927 --> 00:02:32,521 None of us is bloody perfect. 21 00:02:38,167 --> 00:02:41,159 Get your head in there. Come on, get a move on. 22 00:02:41,207 --> 00:02:43,198 I say, steady on! 23 00:02:45,247 --> 00:02:48,922 - Shouldn't I have a hairnet? - Course not, it doesn't matter. 24 00:02:50,887 --> 00:02:54,402 - You always had small tits and a big bum? - Sorry? 25 00:02:54,447 --> 00:02:58,326 Thought so. I've put you on gas mark four... 26 00:02:58,367 --> 00:03:00,642 back in two days, all right? 27 00:03:03,407 --> 00:03:05,284 (Girl) Can I have a magazine? 28 00:03:07,647 --> 00:03:10,480 ...Standing side by side. If you know anything about skipping 29 00:03:10,527 --> 00:03:13,360 you'll know that this is quite fascinating. Stand side by side 30 00:03:13,407 --> 00:03:15,921 and place your near arm round your partner's waist. 31 00:03:15,967 --> 00:03:17,719 I do this with my friend Doris. 32 00:03:17,767 --> 00:03:20,486 Or you can hold inside hands. We do that too. 33 00:03:21,527 --> 00:03:24,041 The swing of the rope must be from the wrist in both cases 34 00:03:24,087 --> 00:03:26,317 otherwise the rope will not turn evenly. 35 00:03:26,367 --> 00:03:29,643 And you can have formation skipping teams of any number. 36 00:03:29,687 --> 00:03:30,802 Would you like to join? 37 00:03:31,967 --> 00:03:35,164 Have I got nice tits or have I got nice tits? 38 00:03:38,887 --> 00:03:41,037 I've got better tits than her. 39 00:03:41,087 --> 00:03:43,681 At least I don't wear bloody falsies. 40 00:03:50,767 --> 00:03:55,443 - Chevely Wonder. - Seven to two. 41 00:03:55,487 --> 00:03:57,443 - Ought to go. - How much? 42 00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:59,443 - A dollar. - All right. 43 00:03:59,487 --> 00:04:01,682 - And cross double it with the other two. - OK. 44 00:04:14,687 --> 00:04:16,325 Lynda? 45 00:04:25,287 --> 00:04:26,959 I think you're done, dear. 46 00:04:27,007 --> 00:04:30,283 It's awfully hot under here. 47 00:04:30,327 --> 00:04:32,079 It's always like that. 48 00:04:32,127 --> 00:04:34,846 - Bugger! - There's a very unpleasant smell. 49 00:04:34,887 --> 00:04:37,799 - Don't fidget! - You didn't give me a magazine. 50 00:04:37,847 --> 00:04:42,204 You're getting a free bloody perm, what do you expect? 51 00:04:43,447 --> 00:04:45,358 Fine. 52 00:04:45,407 --> 00:04:47,159 Good. 53 00:04:47,207 --> 00:04:50,005 Yes. Yes. 54 00:04:50,047 --> 00:04:52,356 - Yes. You pleased with that? - Yes, thank you. 55 00:04:59,807 --> 00:05:01,160 Oh. 56 00:05:03,247 --> 00:05:05,078 Look. 57 00:05:06,127 --> 00:05:07,560 Look at my hair! 58 00:05:08,327 --> 00:05:10,124 Look what you've done to my hair! 59 00:05:10,167 --> 00:05:12,123 Oh, I don't know. 60 00:05:12,167 --> 00:05:14,397 It looks nice. It's nice. 61 00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:16,165 Look at it! Look at it! 62 00:05:16,207 --> 00:05:19,358 Oh, shut up, you silly fat cow! You can always wear a hat. 63 00:05:19,407 --> 00:05:21,398 Lynda, come with me. 64 00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:24,358 (Sobs) 65 00:05:24,847 --> 00:05:27,042 People just don't want to hear a lot of filthy talk 66 00:05:27,087 --> 00:05:28,315 when they're having a perm. 67 00:05:28,367 --> 00:05:30,358 Come on, out. 68 00:05:31,847 --> 00:05:36,204 - I did not swear at her. - It's unprofessional and disgusting. 69 00:05:36,967 --> 00:05:39,083 Only took it on to please you. 70 00:05:41,247 --> 00:05:44,319 Look there. Up there. There's an opening waiting. 71 00:05:44,367 --> 00:05:46,597 All yours. Security for life. 72 00:05:47,327 --> 00:05:49,602 This town's full of women crying out for perms. 73 00:05:49,647 --> 00:05:51,205 - Hello, Dad. - Hello, Margaret. 74 00:05:51,247 --> 00:05:52,760 - Hello, Lynda. - Oh, bugger off. 75 00:05:52,807 --> 00:05:55,116 Watch your... Just watch it. 76 00:05:55,927 --> 00:05:58,487 Ever since you were a child, you and your disgusting mouth. 77 00:05:58,527 --> 00:06:00,006 Thank you very much. 78 00:06:00,047 --> 00:06:02,845 - There's something wrong with you, my girl. - I'm bloody bored. 79 00:06:02,887 --> 00:06:04,878 Language. 80 00:06:06,887 --> 00:06:08,878 (Knocks on glass) 81 00:06:11,607 --> 00:06:13,518 - Cod or haddock, what do you want? - Cod. 82 00:06:13,567 --> 00:06:15,558 Dog. 83 00:06:22,607 --> 00:06:24,643 Elizabeth! Lynda, look. 84 00:06:24,687 --> 00:06:28,202 Look, Margaret, look there. That's your dad! 85 00:06:30,287 --> 00:06:31,800 Come on, Margaret. 86 00:06:48,487 --> 00:06:51,206 Millie. 87 00:06:51,247 --> 00:06:52,839 Hello, brother. 88 00:06:53,727 --> 00:06:57,163 Hello, prettiness. You get prettier every day. 89 00:06:57,207 --> 00:06:59,198 Got a kiss for your father? 90 00:07:00,687 --> 00:07:02,086 Is that Lynda? 91 00:07:03,967 --> 00:07:06,356 Take that off, Lynda. Take it off! 92 00:07:12,487 --> 00:07:14,000 Have you brought us any presents? 93 00:07:14,047 --> 00:07:15,878 Where's that kiss for your dad, Lynda? 94 00:07:22,887 --> 00:07:25,959 (Millie) No, I don't believe it. When? 95 00:07:26,007 --> 00:07:27,520 Well, this was before the war. 96 00:07:28,287 --> 00:07:30,198 No! I don't believe it. 97 00:07:30,247 --> 00:07:32,317 Spectacular. 98 00:07:32,367 --> 00:07:35,484 (Woman) On one of the liners? (Dad) That's correct. 99 00:07:35,527 --> 00:07:37,643 (Woman) Oh, I just don't believe it, do you? 100 00:07:37,687 --> 00:07:39,439 (Millie) I don't think the man would lie to us, Joan. 101 00:07:39,487 --> 00:07:42,240 (Joan) Oh no, I mean, I just can't believe it. 102 00:07:42,287 --> 00:07:44,243 (Dad) Nor can I. (Millie) I can. 103 00:07:44,287 --> 00:07:46,005 (Joan) Oh, you only say that because you never liked her. 104 00:07:46,047 --> 00:07:47,400 (Millie) Who? (Joan) You. 105 00:07:47,447 --> 00:07:50,519 (Millie) Never liked who? (Joan) Gracie Fields! 106 00:07:50,567 --> 00:07:51,716 (Millie) I think she screaks. 107 00:07:51,767 --> 00:07:53,997 (Joan) For goodness' sake! (Dad) Oh, come on! 108 00:07:54,047 --> 00:07:56,356 Your father has cut... 109 00:07:56,407 --> 00:07:59,763 Gracie Fields's hair, how about that then? 110 00:07:59,807 --> 00:08:01,206 Shampoo, set and trim. 111 00:08:01,247 --> 00:08:04,683 - (Joan) Shampoo, set and trim. - They don't know what you're talking about. 112 00:08:04,727 --> 00:08:06,558 - What? - They think you're off your rocker. 113 00:08:06,607 --> 00:08:07,756 Don't you? 114 00:08:07,807 --> 00:08:09,638 - (Joan) Our Gracie. - (Mouths) 115 00:08:09,687 --> 00:08:12,247 (Man laughs theatrically) 116 00:08:12,287 --> 00:08:13,766 That's Gracie Fields. 117 00:08:13,807 --> 00:08:17,117 - (Millie) Hardly. - I'll get some more water. 118 00:08:17,167 --> 00:08:20,443 - Show them the picture, Hubert. - I was going to. 119 00:08:20,487 --> 00:08:24,446 - She gave me this. - Ohh, look at that! 120 00:08:24,487 --> 00:08:27,843 - Very nice. - I've not seen this before. 121 00:08:27,887 --> 00:08:30,162 Of course not, woman. 122 00:08:30,207 --> 00:08:33,165 - Can I read what it says? - That's a lock of her hair. 123 00:08:33,207 --> 00:08:36,005 - (Joan) It's not! - It is. 124 00:08:39,047 --> 00:08:41,117 "To Hubert, 125 00:08:41,167 --> 00:08:44,239 "With thanks and good wishes... 126 00:08:44,287 --> 00:08:45,925 "Gracie Fields." 127 00:08:46,967 --> 00:08:48,446 Lynda just said "up your bum". 128 00:08:50,647 --> 00:08:51,841 And "pig's willy". 129 00:09:00,087 --> 00:09:01,520 Out! 130 00:09:01,567 --> 00:09:04,445 - Go on, out! - Hubert... 131 00:09:04,487 --> 00:09:07,285 - Out. - Don't be hard on the girl. 132 00:09:07,887 --> 00:09:11,402 I have not travelled the oceans of the world to come home to language like that. 133 00:09:11,447 --> 00:09:13,438 Bed! 134 00:09:13,487 --> 00:09:16,047 What's the matter? 135 00:10:31,727 --> 00:10:34,321 What's all the fuss about, eh? 136 00:10:35,727 --> 00:10:37,683 I wish he hadn't come home. 137 00:10:37,727 --> 00:10:41,003 I wish he'd stayed at sea with bloody Gracie Fields. 138 00:11:03,847 --> 00:11:06,042 - Hey, no cycling! - Up your bum. 139 00:11:06,087 --> 00:11:08,237 Lynda! Lynda! 140 00:11:23,247 --> 00:11:24,646 Say hello to your Uncle Harry. 141 00:11:24,687 --> 00:11:26,484 - Give us a chance. - Hello, Lynda. 142 00:11:26,527 --> 00:11:27,721 - Your Uncle Harry... - Uncle Harry. 143 00:11:27,767 --> 00:11:31,043 Your Uncle Harry's got a job for you. You start tomorrow. 144 00:11:31,087 --> 00:11:32,964 (Harry) If you want it. (Hubert) She wants it. 145 00:11:33,007 --> 00:11:36,238 - Start tomorrow at eight. - You'd better get home to bed then. 146 00:11:36,287 --> 00:11:38,517 Good. See you at eight, get you started. 147 00:11:38,567 --> 00:11:40,558 I'm sure you'll be very happy. 148 00:11:41,487 --> 00:11:43,842 Where? Where do I have to be tomorrow at eight? 149 00:11:44,367 --> 00:11:46,358 The garage, the bus company. 150 00:11:56,207 --> 00:12:00,200 (Men wolf whistle and cheer) 151 00:12:23,647 --> 00:12:24,966 Hello. 152 00:12:25,007 --> 00:12:28,363 - Hello? - (Lynda laughs) 153 00:12:30,287 --> 00:12:32,721 What are you laughing at? 154 00:12:32,767 --> 00:12:36,885 It's hot. Warm work, riding bikes. 155 00:12:37,927 --> 00:12:39,485 I fancy you, actually. 156 00:12:39,527 --> 00:12:42,485 You can take me to the pictures, there's a Betty Grable film on. 157 00:12:42,527 --> 00:12:44,518 You can take me if you want. 158 00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:48,246 Yeah, maybe. 159 00:12:48,287 --> 00:12:50,881 Do you think I've got legs like Betty Grable? 160 00:12:51,927 --> 00:12:52,962 I don't know. 161 00:12:53,007 --> 00:12:56,283 If you take me on Saturday night, I'll buy my own ticket. 162 00:12:57,647 --> 00:12:58,716 All right. 163 00:13:01,127 --> 00:13:02,526 Bye! 164 00:13:04,167 --> 00:13:05,839 Brian? 165 00:13:05,887 --> 00:13:07,240 Betty Grable! 166 00:13:08,127 --> 00:13:10,641 (Laughter) 167 00:13:25,087 --> 00:13:26,236 - Hello. - Hello. 168 00:13:26,287 --> 00:13:27,720 I haven't seen you here before. 169 00:13:27,767 --> 00:13:29,723 - No. - Why not? 170 00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:32,281 I've not been here, have I, drip. 171 00:13:32,767 --> 00:13:35,122 - (Horn hoots) - Would you like to come dancing? 172 00:13:35,167 --> 00:13:37,078 - The Rex, Saturday night. - Lynda. 173 00:13:37,127 --> 00:13:39,038 I'm a good dancer. 174 00:13:39,087 --> 00:13:41,078 I can't, I've already got a date. 175 00:13:41,127 --> 00:13:42,321 Morning, Mr Figgis. 176 00:13:42,367 --> 00:13:44,358 This way please, you're late. 177 00:13:45,687 --> 00:13:48,884 - You don't know what you're missing. - Neither do you. 178 00:15:25,687 --> 00:15:27,359 It's not Betty Grable. 179 00:15:28,807 --> 00:15:29,922 What? 180 00:15:29,967 --> 00:15:32,162 It's not Betty Grable. 181 00:15:32,207 --> 00:15:34,004 This is not a Betty Grable film. 182 00:15:35,447 --> 00:15:37,199 I know... 183 00:15:37,247 --> 00:15:39,442 dri-p. 184 00:15:39,487 --> 00:15:42,206 ... Starting something I can't finish. 185 00:15:42,247 --> 00:15:44,807 Giving you happiness for a little while and... 186 00:15:45,567 --> 00:15:47,717 - and... - Oh, darling... 187 00:15:47,767 --> 00:15:50,565 happiness such as we can have is worth grasping, 188 00:15:50,607 --> 00:15:52,677 even if it's only for a day, an hour. 189 00:15:52,727 --> 00:15:54,957 If you stand on the highest peak for one moment 190 00:15:55,007 --> 00:15:59,205 you've had what most people strive in vain for all their lives. 191 00:15:59,247 --> 00:16:03,001 (Woman) If only I could believe it. (Man) Darling, listen to me. 192 00:16:03,047 --> 00:16:05,561 You say you've only a few months. 193 00:16:05,607 --> 00:16:07,962 How long has anyone in the world? How long have I? 194 00:16:08,007 --> 00:16:11,158 A month, a year? Well, perhaps I'll get away with it altogether 195 00:16:11,207 --> 00:16:12,959 and so may you. 196 00:16:13,007 --> 00:16:14,918 But we're all living dangerously. 197 00:16:14,967 --> 00:16:17,435 There isn't an certainty any more. 198 00:16:17,487 --> 00:16:20,240 There's just today and the hope of tomorrow. 199 00:16:21,287 --> 00:16:23,517 Oh, darling. 200 00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:26,525 Please, let's... let's take all the happiness we can 201 00:16:26,567 --> 00:16:28,603 while we can. 202 00:16:28,647 --> 00:16:30,239 Don't be afraid. 203 00:16:32,167 --> 00:16:35,762 (Woman) All right, my darling. I won't be afraid. 204 00:16:36,847 --> 00:16:39,122 I'll never be afraid any more. 205 00:16:41,927 --> 00:16:43,326 (Lynda sobs) 206 00:16:43,367 --> 00:16:45,562 What's the matter, Lynda? 207 00:16:46,847 --> 00:16:48,405 What's the matter? 208 00:16:58,807 --> 00:17:01,116 (Lynda sobs) 209 00:17:01,167 --> 00:17:02,566 Lynda. 210 00:17:04,207 --> 00:17:05,526 Lynda? 211 00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:08,319 What's the matter? 212 00:17:13,447 --> 00:17:15,438 What's the matter? 213 00:17:16,727 --> 00:17:19,719 Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. 214 00:17:24,407 --> 00:17:28,002 I liked it, it was nice, silly bugger! 215 00:17:54,687 --> 00:17:56,803 Now then, now then, none of that here! 216 00:17:56,847 --> 00:17:59,042 - Steady on! - What do you think you're doing? 217 00:17:59,087 --> 00:18:02,238 - This is a picture palace, not a brothel. - I'm sorry, sir, very sorry. 218 00:18:02,287 --> 00:18:03,720 I'll be talking to your parents. 219 00:18:03,767 --> 00:18:05,564 Oh, please! It won't happen again. 220 00:18:05,607 --> 00:18:06,835 It's disgusting. 221 00:18:06,887 --> 00:18:08,286 Oh, sod the pair of you! 222 00:18:08,327 --> 00:18:09,726 I'll be talking to your father. 223 00:18:09,767 --> 00:18:11,758 Bloody good luck to you! 224 00:18:11,807 --> 00:18:13,684 Here, get off before I kick your arse. 225 00:18:13,727 --> 00:18:16,036 Go on, or I'll kick your arse! 226 00:18:52,327 --> 00:18:53,885 Yes, sir? 227 00:18:54,927 --> 00:18:57,680 (Cheering) 228 00:18:57,727 --> 00:19:00,719 And... they go right up to my belly button. 229 00:19:02,607 --> 00:19:04,359 Marks and Spencer's, do you like them? 230 00:19:04,407 --> 00:19:06,398 - (Loud cheer) - Look nice, don't they? 231 00:19:11,887 --> 00:19:14,082 (Whistling, applause) 232 00:19:17,167 --> 00:19:19,840 Do you like my suspenders? 233 00:19:19,887 --> 00:19:21,718 What about your knickers? 234 00:19:21,767 --> 00:19:24,406 (Men roar and whistle) 235 00:19:25,447 --> 00:19:28,644 Stop! Stop this! Out! 236 00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:31,397 - You're fired. - (Men boo) 237 00:19:31,447 --> 00:19:33,517 - You're all fired. - (Loud cheer) 238 00:19:33,567 --> 00:19:35,478 No, no, no you're not. 239 00:19:35,527 --> 00:19:36,880 Just you, you're fired. 240 00:19:36,927 --> 00:19:38,883 - (Men jeer) - You lot, out! 241 00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:41,316 Back to the buses. Get back! 242 00:19:41,367 --> 00:19:44,484 But I was only showing them my new knickers, Mr Figgis. Look! 243 00:19:44,527 --> 00:19:47,485 (Men cheer) 244 00:19:50,927 --> 00:19:53,646 (Man) 245 00:19:53,687 --> 00:19:56,042 246 00:19:56,087 --> 00:19:58,476 247 00:19:58,527 --> 00:20:00,643 248 00:20:00,687 --> 00:20:02,803 249 00:20:02,847 --> 00:20:04,838 250 00:20:05,607 --> 00:20:07,484 251 00:20:07,527 --> 00:20:10,360 252 00:20:10,407 --> 00:20:12,477 253 00:20:12,527 --> 00:20:15,883 254 00:20:15,927 --> 00:20:18,043 255 00:20:18,087 --> 00:20:20,078 256 00:20:24,767 --> 00:20:27,565 Your father says you've, er, 257 00:20:27,607 --> 00:20:29,916 sworn constantly since you were a child. 258 00:20:29,967 --> 00:20:31,719 My first word was bum. 259 00:20:31,767 --> 00:20:32,995 Really? 260 00:20:34,047 --> 00:20:36,641 - He's very worried about your, er... - Swearing. 261 00:20:36,687 --> 00:20:38,678 Yes, that's right, and your... 262 00:20:38,727 --> 00:20:40,718 your behaviour. 263 00:20:41,847 --> 00:20:44,281 As I said, I'm, er... 264 00:20:44,327 --> 00:20:46,318 - I'm here to help you. - That's nice. 265 00:20:46,367 --> 00:20:48,005 Mm. 266 00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:50,880 Once we discover what kind of help you need. 267 00:20:51,927 --> 00:20:53,121 Good. 268 00:20:53,967 --> 00:20:55,719 Do you know what a psychiatrist is? 269 00:20:55,767 --> 00:20:57,758 - No. - You don't? 270 00:20:58,607 --> 00:20:59,960 Do you resent coming here? 271 00:21:00,007 --> 00:21:01,406 No, why should I? 272 00:21:01,447 --> 00:21:03,119 I thought it'd make a nice day out. 273 00:21:05,647 --> 00:21:09,276 I tell you what we'll do, Lynda. Do you mind if I call you Lynda? 274 00:21:09,327 --> 00:21:11,477 I prefer that to Beryl. 275 00:21:11,527 --> 00:21:13,199 Is Beryl your second name? 276 00:21:13,247 --> 00:21:14,646 No! 277 00:21:17,487 --> 00:21:19,478 I tell you what we'll do. 278 00:21:20,807 --> 00:21:23,480 Let's go through the alphabet. We'll start at A. 279 00:21:23,527 --> 00:21:24,801 Best place. 280 00:21:24,847 --> 00:21:27,759 And I want you to tell me all the swear words you know 281 00:21:27,807 --> 00:21:29,035 beginning with A. 282 00:21:29,087 --> 00:21:31,157 - Then we'll go on to, er... - B. 283 00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:33,357 And so on. Do you get the picture? 284 00:21:34,207 --> 00:21:37,040 So... A. The letter A. 285 00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:40,284 - Arse. - Arse. Good. 286 00:21:40,327 --> 00:21:41,680 Do you really want me to do this? 287 00:21:41,727 --> 00:21:44,161 - You feel foolish, do you, when you swear? - No... 288 00:21:44,207 --> 00:21:46,004 only when I'm sat here like this. 289 00:21:46,047 --> 00:21:47,958 - Do you feel guilty? - What about? 290 00:21:48,007 --> 00:21:50,396 Let's go on. Arse... 291 00:21:50,447 --> 00:21:51,800 Hole. 292 00:21:51,847 --> 00:21:53,439 - Hole? - Arse. 293 00:21:53,487 --> 00:21:55,796 - Hole. - Yeah, that's it. 294 00:21:55,847 --> 00:21:57,599 Ah, good, yes. 295 00:21:57,647 --> 00:22:00,286 - And holes. - Holes. 296 00:22:00,327 --> 00:22:01,965 Of course. 297 00:22:02,007 --> 00:22:02,996 Let's move on to B. 298 00:22:03,047 --> 00:22:05,845 Leave those behind, ha ha. 299 00:22:05,887 --> 00:22:07,206 B. 300 00:22:07,247 --> 00:22:10,125 - Bloody, bastard, bugger, bum. - Very good. 301 00:22:10,167 --> 00:22:11,680 - And holes. - Holes. 302 00:22:11,727 --> 00:22:13,160 - Bum. - Holes. 303 00:22:13,207 --> 00:22:15,118 Yes, of course, very good. 304 00:22:26,247 --> 00:22:29,364 Now, Lynda... C. 305 00:22:29,407 --> 00:22:30,806 We missed balls. 306 00:22:30,847 --> 00:22:32,838 So we did, never mind. C. 307 00:22:35,287 --> 00:22:37,164 (Click) 308 00:22:38,647 --> 00:22:40,717 - No. - Take your time. 309 00:22:40,767 --> 00:22:41,916 Can't think of nothing. 310 00:22:41,967 --> 00:22:44,276 Think very hard now. 311 00:22:44,327 --> 00:22:45,965 The letter C. 312 00:22:47,007 --> 00:22:49,726 Something very filthy. 313 00:22:49,767 --> 00:22:51,758 Very, very dirty. 314 00:22:54,007 --> 00:22:55,360 Cacka? 315 00:22:56,647 --> 00:22:57,636 Cacka? 316 00:22:57,687 --> 00:22:59,996 Cacka. Pooh-poohs. 317 00:23:00,047 --> 00:23:01,844 - Are you feeling ashamed? - What of? 318 00:23:01,887 --> 00:23:04,037 - What you're really thinking. - I'm not thinking anything. 319 00:23:04,087 --> 00:23:06,681 - Yes, you are. - No, I'm not. 320 00:23:07,767 --> 00:23:09,041 Very well then. D. 321 00:23:09,087 --> 00:23:10,486 - Damn. - Precisely. 322 00:23:10,527 --> 00:23:11,642 F. The letter F. 323 00:23:11,687 --> 00:23:13,643 - We've missed out E. - There isn't one with E. 324 00:23:13,687 --> 00:23:15,917 - There might be. - There isn't, take my word for it. 325 00:23:15,967 --> 00:23:17,958 - We could give it a try. - F. 326 00:23:18,007 --> 00:23:20,316 Can you think of a filthy, dirty, smutty word, 327 00:23:20,367 --> 00:23:21,595 beginning with F. 328 00:23:21,647 --> 00:23:23,956 - Not too hard, I should think, Lynda. - No. 329 00:23:24,887 --> 00:23:27,082 - Come on, come on, of course you can. - I can't. 330 00:23:27,127 --> 00:23:28,958 Of course you can. I can, anybody can. 331 00:23:29,007 --> 00:23:30,520 Well, what then? You tell me. 332 00:23:30,567 --> 00:23:32,956 You must be one of the last people on earth not to know. 333 00:23:33,007 --> 00:23:34,440 Everybody knows a swear word with F. 334 00:23:34,487 --> 00:23:36,205 Then, what are you asking me for? 335 00:23:36,247 --> 00:23:37,680 Because I want to hear you say it. 336 00:23:37,727 --> 00:23:39,285 You dirty old bugger. 337 00:23:49,287 --> 00:23:53,724 It is difficult to be sure without further investigations 338 00:23:53,767 --> 00:23:56,645 but I would conjecture that something has happened to Lynda 339 00:23:56,687 --> 00:23:59,326 during the course of her adolescence. 340 00:23:59,367 --> 00:24:00,959 Her mother died when she was eleven 341 00:24:01,007 --> 00:24:03,362 - would that have anything to do with it? - Possibly. 342 00:24:03,407 --> 00:24:05,318 What can I do? 343 00:24:07,407 --> 00:24:09,967 I'm ashamed of her, Doctor, she's an embarrassment. 344 00:24:10,687 --> 00:24:14,157 - Is there nothing you can do? - She's a difficult case. 345 00:24:14,207 --> 00:24:16,402 Can you make some more appointments for her? 346 00:24:17,367 --> 00:24:20,803 - Will it cost the same for each visit? - Yes, it will. 347 00:24:20,847 --> 00:24:22,963 Then I'm not sure that it's worth it. 348 00:24:28,327 --> 00:24:31,524 (Band plays) 349 00:24:49,407 --> 00:24:52,080 (Applause) 350 00:24:52,127 --> 00:24:53,276 Thank you, thank you. 351 00:24:54,247 --> 00:24:55,760 And now, ladies and gentlemen, 352 00:24:55,807 --> 00:24:59,925 we have a star number for you from our feature vocalist, Rudy Stephenson. 353 00:24:59,967 --> 00:25:03,880 And he's going to sing for all you sweethearts and lovers. 354 00:25:03,927 --> 00:25:05,963 And also for Trevor Wilson and Tessa Phipps 355 00:25:06,007 --> 00:25:09,044 - who became engaged today. - (Feedback) 356 00:25:13,007 --> 00:25:15,646 Thank you. We'd like you to dance nice and close together, 357 00:25:15,687 --> 00:25:17,882 as Rudy gives you his own very special rendition 358 00:25:17,927 --> 00:25:20,521 of that all-time favourite, Lost In A Dream. 359 00:25:32,807 --> 00:25:35,719 360 00:25:35,767 --> 00:25:40,363 361 00:25:41,527 --> 00:25:46,317 362 00:25:47,567 --> 00:25:52,163 363 00:25:53,487 --> 00:25:55,955 364 00:25:56,007 --> 00:26:01,923 365 00:26:01,967 --> 00:26:07,166 366 00:26:08,327 --> 00:26:12,798 367 00:26:14,087 --> 00:26:19,081 368 00:26:20,127 --> 00:26:25,121 369 00:26:26,327 --> 00:26:30,923 370 00:26:31,927 --> 00:26:36,717 371 00:26:37,567 --> 00:26:44,518 372 00:27:23,327 --> 00:27:25,966 This is my grandma's bedroom. 373 00:27:26,007 --> 00:27:28,601 That's your grandma's bed. 374 00:27:32,047 --> 00:27:35,039 What did you, er, tell your Dad? 375 00:27:35,087 --> 00:27:37,362 I'm staying with my friend, Pauline. 376 00:27:38,407 --> 00:27:39,999 Where's your gran? 377 00:27:40,967 --> 00:27:42,559 Tunbridge Wells. 378 00:27:45,487 --> 00:27:47,603 She's gonna leave me this house in her will. 379 00:28:20,087 --> 00:28:22,476 You all right in there? 380 00:28:22,527 --> 00:28:27,681 - I'll be out in a minute. - You've been in there bloody hours. 381 00:28:27,727 --> 00:28:29,843 You get into bed. 382 00:28:29,887 --> 00:28:31,878 I might fall asleep. 383 00:28:40,447 --> 00:28:42,005 Cor... 384 00:28:42,047 --> 00:28:43,639 Iook at you. 385 00:28:49,487 --> 00:28:50,476 Do you fancy me? 386 00:28:50,527 --> 00:28:53,325 Not half as much as you fancy yourself. 387 00:29:03,527 --> 00:29:05,483 What kind of cigarette is that? 388 00:29:05,527 --> 00:29:06,721 Du Maurier. 389 00:29:07,567 --> 00:29:10,161 - Really? - They're the best. 390 00:29:17,847 --> 00:29:19,485 Toothpaste. 391 00:29:19,527 --> 00:29:21,722 I'm going to make love to you. 392 00:29:21,767 --> 00:29:23,166 Do bloody hope so. 393 00:29:23,207 --> 00:29:25,243 Like you've never been made love to before. 394 00:29:25,287 --> 00:29:27,005 Shouldn't be too difficult. 395 00:29:27,047 --> 00:29:29,481 I'm going to do it to you... 396 00:29:29,527 --> 00:29:30,926 right now. 397 00:29:35,327 --> 00:29:38,876 I might have a baby. I just thought I'd mention it before we go too far. 398 00:29:38,927 --> 00:29:40,406 No chance. 399 00:29:40,447 --> 00:29:43,439 I'm not so dolly dumb as I look, you know. 400 00:29:43,487 --> 00:29:45,159 Don't worry. 401 00:29:45,207 --> 00:29:46,560 Dave thinks of everything. 402 00:29:46,607 --> 00:29:48,438 Oh, Durrex! 403 00:29:48,487 --> 00:29:50,842 - Durex. - My dad sells these, what are they for? 404 00:29:52,287 --> 00:29:53,879 To stop you having babies. 405 00:29:53,927 --> 00:29:55,121 What? 406 00:29:56,367 --> 00:29:58,358 Crafty bugger! 407 00:29:58,407 --> 00:30:00,477 No wonder he hides them under the counter. 408 00:30:01,767 --> 00:30:03,644 Ugh! 409 00:30:03,687 --> 00:30:05,678 You don't have to eat them, do you? 410 00:30:05,727 --> 00:30:07,524 (Laughs) No. 411 00:30:07,567 --> 00:30:10,525 They're plonkers. What the Yanks call condoms. 412 00:30:10,567 --> 00:30:14,116 You've been done mate. There's not one in this packet. 413 00:30:14,167 --> 00:30:15,646 That's cos I'm wearing it. 414 00:30:18,007 --> 00:30:19,679 Are you? 415 00:30:22,527 --> 00:30:24,324 Yes, I am. 416 00:30:30,647 --> 00:30:33,639 Oh! So you are. 417 00:30:34,807 --> 00:30:36,798 Come on, Dave, quick, let's do it. 418 00:30:37,767 --> 00:30:41,965 - Hang on. - (Lynda laughs) 419 00:30:44,887 --> 00:30:47,401 - What are you laughing at? - I'm not, I'm not... 420 00:30:47,447 --> 00:30:49,642 (Carries on laughing) 421 00:30:53,567 --> 00:30:57,116 Ooh, ow! 422 00:30:57,487 --> 00:30:59,955 (Grunts) 423 00:31:01,407 --> 00:31:04,046 What do we do now? 424 00:31:04,087 --> 00:31:06,317 Oh, Lynda... 425 00:31:06,367 --> 00:31:08,323 Any more fares... 426 00:31:08,367 --> 00:31:09,356 please! 427 00:31:14,167 --> 00:31:16,123 Oh. 428 00:31:17,647 --> 00:31:18,636 That was quick. 429 00:31:18,687 --> 00:31:20,200 Did you like it? 430 00:31:20,247 --> 00:31:22,442 Oh, it was nice, but, um, 431 00:31:22,487 --> 00:31:24,045 quicker than I expected. 432 00:31:24,087 --> 00:31:25,122 Don't worry. 433 00:31:25,167 --> 00:31:26,759 Is it always as quick as that? 434 00:31:26,807 --> 00:31:29,401 No, don't worry, you'll get the hang of it. 435 00:31:30,367 --> 00:31:32,358 We've got all night. 436 00:31:34,047 --> 00:31:35,685 That's good. 437 00:31:35,727 --> 00:31:38,560 Then you'd better swallow another one of these. 438 00:32:20,607 --> 00:32:21,642 What was that? 439 00:32:26,207 --> 00:32:28,437 (Knock) 440 00:32:28,487 --> 00:32:30,364 Oh, my God, who is it? 441 00:32:30,407 --> 00:32:33,365 - Bloomin' heck! - Dave, who is it? 442 00:32:33,407 --> 00:32:34,476 It's my dad! 443 00:32:34,527 --> 00:32:36,597 Wait a second. 444 00:32:36,647 --> 00:32:38,205 (Doorbell) 445 00:32:38,247 --> 00:32:40,158 If it's my dad, tell him I'm not here! 446 00:32:40,207 --> 00:32:41,322 (Man) David! 447 00:32:41,367 --> 00:32:42,516 It's me uncle. 448 00:32:42,567 --> 00:32:44,478 (Man) Are you in there, David? - Oh, my God! 449 00:32:44,527 --> 00:32:46,916 - I'll have to let him in. - No! 450 00:32:46,967 --> 00:32:48,286 - Under, quick. - What?! 451 00:32:48,327 --> 00:32:49,646 Get under the bed. 452 00:32:49,687 --> 00:32:51,166 Come on quick! 453 00:32:51,207 --> 00:32:52,322 He's got a key. 454 00:32:52,367 --> 00:32:55,120 If he's got a key, what's he knocking on the bloody door for? 455 00:32:55,167 --> 00:32:57,203 (Man) You up there, David? 456 00:33:05,527 --> 00:33:07,757 What you doing in your grandmother's bed? 457 00:33:07,807 --> 00:33:09,206 (Dave) What's it look like? 458 00:33:09,247 --> 00:33:11,397 Does your grandma know you're sleeping in her bed? 459 00:33:11,447 --> 00:33:12,641 (Dave) Course she does. 460 00:33:12,687 --> 00:33:15,963 If she comes back and finds you in her bed, there'll be trouble. 461 00:33:16,007 --> 00:33:18,805 - (Dave) Yeah, all right, so what? - Mitch! 462 00:33:18,847 --> 00:33:22,157 I've been given to understand you brought a girl home here last night. 463 00:33:22,207 --> 00:33:23,356 (Dave) What? 464 00:33:23,407 --> 00:33:25,716 - Mitch! - (Dave) Who told you that? 465 00:33:26,727 --> 00:33:28,604 Never you mind. 466 00:33:28,647 --> 00:33:32,606 - (Dave) I went dancing last night. - At the Rex. 467 00:33:32,647 --> 00:33:36,356 (Dave) but I never brought no girl home, Uncle Brian, not me. 468 00:33:36,407 --> 00:33:38,363 I wouldn't dream of such a thing, Uncle Brian. 469 00:33:38,407 --> 00:33:39,965 (Brian) I should hope not. 470 00:33:41,087 --> 00:33:45,285 You should be up, this time of day. You should be out doing something. 471 00:33:45,327 --> 00:33:47,204 (Dave) Where have you been, church? 472 00:33:47,247 --> 00:33:48,999 (Uncle Brian) Taking the dog for a walk. 473 00:33:49,047 --> 00:33:51,402 Keeping an eye on things. 474 00:33:51,447 --> 00:33:54,757 - The bloody dog's got one of your plonkers! - I know! 475 00:34:35,007 --> 00:34:37,157 - Come on, for God's sake. - (Doorbell) 476 00:34:37,207 --> 00:34:39,198 - Sorry. - Your dad in? 477 00:34:40,127 --> 00:34:42,322 - What do you want? - Dad in? 478 00:34:42,367 --> 00:34:44,881 No. He's not back yet. 479 00:34:44,927 --> 00:34:47,157 Not back yet? Do you mind if I come in? 480 00:34:47,207 --> 00:34:50,005 Stand there like a bloody dummy, I don't care. 481 00:35:23,007 --> 00:35:24,360 I don't know where he is. 482 00:35:25,447 --> 00:35:27,244 I never said you did. 483 00:35:28,367 --> 00:35:30,961 So what are you staring at, then? 484 00:35:33,327 --> 00:35:38,355 You, er... You gonna take up hairdressing like your dad? 485 00:35:38,407 --> 00:35:39,726 No, thanks. 486 00:35:40,247 --> 00:35:43,045 - Reckon you could give me a trim? - Get the pudding basin. 487 00:35:43,087 --> 00:35:44,679 I'll give it a try. 488 00:35:45,647 --> 00:35:48,036 So, you're the troublesome one eh? 489 00:35:48,087 --> 00:35:50,282 - What do you mean? - (Mimics) What do you mean? 490 00:35:50,327 --> 00:35:52,636 That's what your dad says. 491 00:35:52,687 --> 00:35:54,598 Says you're a troublesome bugger. 492 00:35:54,647 --> 00:35:57,036 He can't wait to get rid of you. 493 00:36:04,247 --> 00:36:05,760 Why are you limping? 494 00:36:05,807 --> 00:36:07,798 What do you mean? 495 00:36:08,967 --> 00:36:11,765 You got something the matter with your leg? 496 00:36:11,807 --> 00:36:13,160 No, why? 497 00:36:16,567 --> 00:36:19,445 You got something the matter with yours? 498 00:36:19,487 --> 00:36:21,682 I don't think so, no. 499 00:36:22,927 --> 00:36:25,361 Think you're it, don't you, hm? 500 00:36:25,407 --> 00:36:27,159 - What do you mean? - (Mimics) What do you mean? 501 00:36:27,207 --> 00:36:29,562 Troublesome bugger. 502 00:36:29,607 --> 00:36:31,643 Think you're God's gift, don't you? 503 00:36:31,687 --> 00:36:34,679 I think I'm all right, thank you very much. 504 00:36:37,727 --> 00:36:40,116 I think you're all the same. 505 00:36:41,447 --> 00:36:43,642 Don't know what you've got it for. 506 00:36:45,647 --> 00:36:48,241 All you young girls... 507 00:36:48,287 --> 00:36:51,085 you're scared... 508 00:36:51,127 --> 00:36:53,163 all talk. 509 00:36:53,207 --> 00:36:56,483 Scared of a real man, ain't you? Eh? 510 00:36:56,527 --> 00:36:58,677 You bugger. 511 00:36:58,727 --> 00:37:01,116 You dirty bugger. 512 00:37:01,167 --> 00:37:04,079 Where's your sister? Eh? 513 00:37:04,127 --> 00:37:07,085 Girl Guides, she's gone to Girl Guides. 514 00:37:08,687 --> 00:37:10,245 (Door opening) 515 00:37:10,287 --> 00:37:12,642 I'll see you later out the back when the pub's shut. 516 00:37:12,687 --> 00:37:14,040 That's what you think. 517 00:37:14,087 --> 00:37:16,237 Hubert! 518 00:37:16,287 --> 00:37:18,243 Oh, Eric, how did we do? 519 00:37:18,287 --> 00:37:20,960 - Not so bad, not so bad. - I want a word with you. 520 00:37:21,007 --> 00:37:22,725 - I'm going out. - Are you? 521 00:37:23,527 --> 00:37:26,758 Great Eastern, Blue Boy, Tee's Delight. On the nose, cross doubles and a treble. 522 00:37:26,807 --> 00:37:30,004 - Every one a winner. - Very nice, very nice. 523 00:37:30,047 --> 00:37:31,605 (Lynda) Very nice. 524 00:37:34,487 --> 00:37:35,920 Here... 525 00:37:35,967 --> 00:37:38,606 sixteen pounds there. 526 00:37:38,647 --> 00:37:42,720 Seven and... six. 527 00:37:42,767 --> 00:37:44,325 You're a toff. Here. 528 00:37:44,367 --> 00:37:46,961 - Oh, thanks. - Stay for a drink? 529 00:37:47,007 --> 00:37:49,521 - Oh, no, no, got to push on. (Lynda) Got to push on. 530 00:37:49,567 --> 00:37:51,319 - Come on, parrot. - Parrot. 531 00:37:51,367 --> 00:37:54,359 - Show the man to the door. - Yes, Dad. 532 00:37:55,687 --> 00:37:57,837 - She's a lovely girl, isn't she? - You think so? 533 00:37:57,887 --> 00:38:00,037 - Oh, yeah, lovely girl. - Then make me an offer. 534 00:38:00,087 --> 00:38:02,203 Eh? (Laughs) 535 00:38:02,247 --> 00:38:03,362 Ha ha. 536 00:38:03,407 --> 00:38:06,205 Make me an offer! No reasonable offer refused. 537 00:38:06,247 --> 00:38:08,761 - Half a dollar, on the nose? - Done. 538 00:38:08,807 --> 00:38:10,559 (Both laugh) 539 00:38:16,447 --> 00:38:19,325 - Hope your finger stinks. - I'll see you later. 540 00:38:19,367 --> 00:38:21,358 Cock off. 541 00:38:27,287 --> 00:38:28,766 Hey! 542 00:38:30,047 --> 00:38:32,163 - Hey! Where do you think you're going? 543 00:38:32,207 --> 00:38:33,196 Out! 544 00:38:33,247 --> 00:38:35,078 - Oh, no, you're not. - Oh, yes, I am. 545 00:38:35,127 --> 00:38:37,482 You're not, I'm telling you, you're not. 546 00:38:37,527 --> 00:38:38,880 You stay in for a change. 547 00:38:38,927 --> 00:38:41,236 I stay in, look after boring you know who, 548 00:38:41,287 --> 00:38:43,517 you go to the pub or club... lovely. 549 00:38:43,567 --> 00:38:44,556 Wrong. Freemasons. 550 00:38:44,607 --> 00:38:46,120 Same thing. Yap, yap, yap, yap. 551 00:38:46,167 --> 00:38:49,204 Bit of this, bit of that, then on to the pub or club with Long John Silver. 552 00:38:49,247 --> 00:38:50,805 It's all bloody boozing. 553 00:38:50,847 --> 00:38:54,476 Lynda, I don't want to hear it, I won't have that kind of talk! Do you hear? 554 00:38:54,527 --> 00:38:57,644 Get rid of me then. Make me an offer, ha ha. 555 00:38:57,687 --> 00:39:00,076 You keep away from bus conductors. 556 00:39:01,127 --> 00:39:03,766 Bus conductor! Look at you, that's just about your... 557 00:39:03,807 --> 00:39:05,525 I'm ashamed to be your father. 558 00:39:05,567 --> 00:39:07,558 Oh, cock off! 559 00:39:09,167 --> 00:39:11,044 Hey! You're not too old madam! 560 00:39:11,087 --> 00:39:12,281 Remember that! 561 00:39:59,127 --> 00:40:02,244 - Your bike's on fire. - Up your bum! 562 00:40:20,007 --> 00:40:22,999 You'll have to wait a bloody long time, Mr Stinky Finger, 563 00:40:23,047 --> 00:40:25,197 parrot chops, Long John Silver. 564 00:40:40,687 --> 00:40:46,683 up your bum, up your bum 565 00:40:52,127 --> 00:40:54,277 Up your bum, Mr Long John Silver. 566 00:40:59,047 --> 00:41:02,756 567 00:41:02,807 --> 00:41:05,196 568 00:41:07,087 --> 00:41:08,520 (Loudly) 569 00:41:08,567 --> 00:41:09,966 570 00:41:10,007 --> 00:41:13,158 bum, bum, bum, bum, bum 571 00:41:13,207 --> 00:41:16,517 572 00:41:16,567 --> 00:41:20,526 573 00:41:20,567 --> 00:41:21,716 574 00:41:21,767 --> 00:41:24,486 575 00:41:24,527 --> 00:41:27,405 Up your bum! 576 00:41:27,447 --> 00:41:30,041 577 00:41:30,087 --> 00:41:32,078 What's going on down there? 578 00:41:32,127 --> 00:41:35,005 Just trying to find the cat, Mrs Fartley. 579 00:41:36,047 --> 00:41:37,799 Puss, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss. 580 00:41:37,847 --> 00:41:39,200 Oh! Ooh! 581 00:41:43,567 --> 00:41:45,922 - Next. - Two sixes ple... 582 00:41:47,487 --> 00:41:49,955 Can I have two sixes, please? 583 00:41:50,007 --> 00:41:51,440 Two sixes. 584 00:41:59,407 --> 00:42:01,523 Open or closed? 585 00:42:01,567 --> 00:42:03,603 Er, open please. 586 00:42:12,647 --> 00:42:14,877 Two sixes, a shilling please. 587 00:42:14,927 --> 00:42:20,126 - Sorry I haven't got anything, er, bigger. - No bother, we can use the change. 588 00:42:21,287 --> 00:42:22,686 Next. 589 00:42:23,407 --> 00:42:26,922 (Man) I want two cod and fours, a cod and six, a plaice and six 590 00:42:26,967 --> 00:42:29,435 two threes, three fours and a couple of sixes. 591 00:42:30,247 --> 00:42:31,475 All with crispy bits. 592 00:42:32,087 --> 00:42:34,237 - Open or closed? - Closed. 593 00:42:38,207 --> 00:42:40,163 Two cod and four, a cod and six, 594 00:42:40,207 --> 00:42:42,801 - what else? - A plaice and six, 595 00:42:42,847 --> 00:42:45,725 two threes, three fours and a couple of sixes, 596 00:42:45,767 --> 00:42:47,678 - all with crispy bits. - Please! 597 00:42:47,727 --> 00:42:48,921 Please. 598 00:43:53,087 --> 00:43:54,202 Cock off. 599 00:43:59,607 --> 00:44:01,916 Dave? 600 00:44:03,847 --> 00:44:06,236 I'll see you later. 601 00:44:11,207 --> 00:44:12,640 Hello, Lynda. 602 00:44:15,447 --> 00:44:17,881 There, you bugger, that's for you. 603 00:44:17,927 --> 00:44:20,157 Lynda, I'm sorry. 604 00:44:20,207 --> 00:44:22,801 Too bloody late. 605 00:44:50,007 --> 00:44:52,999 (Woman laughs) 606 00:45:05,527 --> 00:45:08,121 (lndistinct speech, woman giggles) 607 00:45:17,887 --> 00:45:19,684 (Woman) Ooh! 608 00:45:33,287 --> 00:45:35,755 Hello, it's me, troublesome bugger, remember? 609 00:45:35,807 --> 00:45:38,605 - About bloody time. - Cheeky sod. 610 00:45:38,647 --> 00:45:42,765 - What are you hanging about here for? - Collecting bets. 611 00:45:42,807 --> 00:45:44,798 Come and stand over by this wall. 612 00:45:44,847 --> 00:45:47,236 Shh. This way. 613 00:45:48,887 --> 00:45:50,684 Come on! 614 00:45:53,607 --> 00:45:54,642 Come on, hurry up. 615 00:46:06,487 --> 00:46:08,478 Have you got a match? 616 00:46:28,127 --> 00:46:30,516 Can I have my matches back? 617 00:46:30,567 --> 00:46:32,558 Mr Mingy. 618 00:46:41,127 --> 00:46:42,685 What's this? 619 00:46:42,727 --> 00:46:44,285 There. 620 00:46:46,047 --> 00:46:47,799 How many you had on there? 621 00:46:47,847 --> 00:46:49,644 Oh, a few. 622 00:46:50,687 --> 00:46:52,723 - How many bus conductors? - Oh, loads. 623 00:46:52,767 --> 00:46:55,964 I'm not fussy, that's why I'm here with you. 624 00:46:57,287 --> 00:47:00,643 - So, you had a bust-up with your boyfriend. - Word gets round quick. 625 00:47:00,687 --> 00:47:02,837 All the little tongues go clack, clack, clack. 626 00:47:05,247 --> 00:47:06,521 What's all this then? 627 00:47:07,047 --> 00:47:09,117 I come here to sleep, 628 00:47:09,167 --> 00:47:12,045 to escape my dad and boring bloody sister. 629 00:47:12,087 --> 00:47:13,679 Who with? 630 00:47:16,167 --> 00:47:17,759 You. 631 00:47:23,687 --> 00:47:25,564 What you got down there, then? 632 00:47:25,607 --> 00:47:28,599 - Don't know, have to have a look. - (Mimics) Have a look? 633 00:47:45,807 --> 00:47:48,002 Do you love me? 634 00:47:48,047 --> 00:47:50,720 No, I don't love anybody, 635 00:47:50,767 --> 00:47:52,758 not even meself. 636 00:47:56,207 --> 00:47:57,720 Bloody hell. 637 00:47:57,767 --> 00:47:58,961 Come on. 638 00:48:19,007 --> 00:48:21,396 - Think you're it, don't you? - You said that before. 639 00:48:21,447 --> 00:48:22,436 Then I must be right. 640 00:48:22,487 --> 00:48:26,480 You don't know how lucky you are, I'm practically a virgin. 641 00:48:31,927 --> 00:48:33,918 You've still got your pants on. 642 00:48:33,967 --> 00:48:35,366 Not for long. 643 00:48:42,207 --> 00:48:43,435 (Door opens) 644 00:48:43,487 --> 00:48:45,000 Oh, my God, it's my dad. 645 00:48:45,047 --> 00:48:46,765 - It's my dad! - (Whispers) Quiet! 646 00:48:56,327 --> 00:48:57,521 Oh! 647 00:48:57,567 --> 00:48:59,717 I'm very sorry, madam, the, er... 648 00:48:59,767 --> 00:49:02,725 the gate was open and I thought you might have intruders. 649 00:49:03,367 --> 00:49:05,358 Beg your pardon. 650 00:49:07,487 --> 00:49:09,842 Oh my God, bloody hell. 651 00:49:09,887 --> 00:49:13,038 If he wakes my dad, we're both dead! 652 00:49:13,087 --> 00:49:15,043 I thought it was him, I really did. 653 00:49:15,727 --> 00:49:18,605 (Whispers) Don't light the candle, if he come out here we're dead. 654 00:49:18,647 --> 00:49:20,478 Shut up and come down here. 655 00:49:20,527 --> 00:49:22,836 - Oh, my heart. - Come here. 656 00:49:30,047 --> 00:49:34,120 I'm shaking like a bag of jelly, can you feel? We left the bloody gate open. 657 00:49:34,167 --> 00:49:36,522 What's the worry? Forget it. 658 00:49:36,567 --> 00:49:39,843 - I thought it was him. - What's it matter? 659 00:49:40,887 --> 00:49:44,004 I can take care of your old man you take care of mine. 660 00:49:44,047 --> 00:49:47,676 - Oh, thank God it wasn't him. - What's it matter? 661 00:49:47,727 --> 00:49:49,683 - He don't care. - Who? 662 00:49:49,727 --> 00:49:53,356 Your dad. Can't wait to get shut of you. 663 00:49:53,407 --> 00:49:55,557 (Laughs) Half a dollar. 664 00:49:55,607 --> 00:49:59,725 - That's what you think. - That's what I know. 665 00:49:59,767 --> 00:50:02,998 - What do you mean? - (Mimics) What do you mean? 666 00:50:03,047 --> 00:50:08,201 He told me. He can't wait to get rid of you. 667 00:50:08,247 --> 00:50:12,684 Says you're a bloody nuisance, which you are. 668 00:50:12,727 --> 00:50:16,959 He's fed up looking after you. 669 00:50:17,007 --> 00:50:20,204 Big girl like you, should be looking after yourself. 670 00:50:21,247 --> 00:50:24,239 So what if he does come in here? I don't care. 671 00:50:25,247 --> 00:50:27,044 Mm? 672 00:50:27,087 --> 00:50:28,281 Can't do it now. 673 00:50:28,327 --> 00:50:30,158 - Why not? - I'm scared. 674 00:50:30,207 --> 00:50:33,643 - You're not leaving here until you do. - You have to wear a plonker. 675 00:50:33,687 --> 00:50:35,120 Uh-uh. 676 00:50:36,167 --> 00:50:37,600 I'm not doing it unless you do. 677 00:50:37,647 --> 00:50:40,923 - You don't know what you're missing. - No plonker, no nookie. 678 00:50:40,967 --> 00:50:44,403 Look, I'm an expert, I know what I'm doing, I'll look after you. 679 00:50:44,447 --> 00:50:46,881 Look, I'm a cowboy, didn't you know that, eh? 680 00:50:46,927 --> 00:50:49,521 The best bare-back riders in town. 681 00:50:57,567 --> 00:51:01,560 for the folks away up yonder 682 00:51:01,607 --> 00:51:04,804 who left his home to wander 683 00:51:04,847 --> 00:51:08,726 for the settlers in the hills 684 00:51:08,767 --> 00:51:13,363 685 00:51:14,087 --> 00:51:20,481 Big finish. 686 00:51:23,887 --> 00:51:25,878 (Cheers) 687 00:51:34,767 --> 00:51:37,361 That was wonderful! Truly wonderful. 688 00:51:37,407 --> 00:51:39,967 I have to give you a big kiss for that. 689 00:51:40,527 --> 00:51:42,245 Come here! 690 00:51:45,487 --> 00:51:49,196 - You should be a professional. - Oh, I am, I am. 691 00:51:49,247 --> 00:51:51,238 You too, Harry. 692 00:51:52,647 --> 00:51:54,126 Any more, any more? 693 00:52:03,647 --> 00:52:05,956 What about you, Auntie Millie? 694 00:52:06,007 --> 00:52:08,680 Oh, I suppose so, why not? 695 00:52:08,727 --> 00:52:11,116 You make me sound like some old woman. 696 00:52:12,167 --> 00:52:13,646 You too, Joan. 697 00:52:13,687 --> 00:52:16,076 Oh, I thought you'd have to have a go at me. 698 00:52:16,927 --> 00:52:18,918 He's not fussy. 699 00:52:20,767 --> 00:52:22,359 And... 700 00:52:22,407 --> 00:52:25,399 the lovely Lynda. 701 00:52:26,127 --> 00:52:28,322 (Laughs) 702 00:52:29,647 --> 00:52:31,956 Isn't she lovely? 703 00:52:33,007 --> 00:52:34,235 Lovely. 704 00:52:36,047 --> 00:52:38,925 705 00:52:38,967 --> 00:52:42,084 and you turn around 706 00:52:42,127 --> 00:52:45,164 707 00:52:45,207 --> 00:52:47,596 708 00:52:48,647 --> 00:52:50,842 709 00:52:51,487 --> 00:52:54,126 710 00:52:54,167 --> 00:52:57,443 711 00:54:08,927 --> 00:54:10,645 Your mother wouldn't approve. 712 00:54:11,487 --> 00:54:13,717 Pity she's not here to say. 713 00:54:20,087 --> 00:54:22,078 She'd have shown you the door. 714 00:54:22,127 --> 00:54:24,118 I've seen it. 715 00:54:37,487 --> 00:54:39,478 (Sighs) 716 00:54:44,167 --> 00:54:46,158 I'm a respected man, Lynda. 717 00:54:49,047 --> 00:54:51,038 A freemason. 718 00:54:52,927 --> 00:54:54,918 I know that doesn't mean much to you. 719 00:54:56,967 --> 00:54:58,958 Why should it? 720 00:55:01,847 --> 00:55:05,681 I'm not here to be made a bloody fool of, Lynda. 721 00:55:06,647 --> 00:55:08,638 There's such thing as dignity. 722 00:55:13,527 --> 00:55:15,518 (Sighs) 723 00:55:17,767 --> 00:55:19,758 You seem to think you're smart 724 00:55:21,807 --> 00:55:24,275 but I'm afraid you'll end up the bloody fool. 725 00:55:27,887 --> 00:55:29,878 Just don't do it in my house. 726 00:55:30,887 --> 00:55:33,799 I don't want to be witness to that kind of spectacle. 727 00:55:33,847 --> 00:55:35,838 What about Maisie Mathews? 728 00:55:43,607 --> 00:55:45,916 I'm a man. 729 00:55:57,927 --> 00:56:00,805 I don't know why you've turned out the way you have. 730 00:56:00,847 --> 00:56:02,838 (Whispers) God knows! 731 00:56:05,767 --> 00:56:07,758 You're... You're in such a rush. 732 00:56:10,127 --> 00:56:12,118 Why be in such a rush about it all? 733 00:58:45,167 --> 00:58:46,316 I've left him. 734 00:58:48,007 --> 00:58:49,918 - Who? - Who? Him! 735 00:58:50,367 --> 00:58:52,835 And my boring bloody sister. 736 00:58:52,887 --> 00:58:54,718 She said she wants to join the army. 737 00:58:54,767 --> 00:58:57,884 I thought she meant the Sally Army, but she means the army. 738 00:59:01,807 --> 00:59:04,401 - How'd you get in? - It's not locked, is it? 739 00:59:06,847 --> 00:59:09,361 You said you wanted me through the night. You've got me now. 740 00:59:09,407 --> 00:59:11,602 Father's blessing. Good riddance. 741 00:59:14,527 --> 00:59:16,085 Can bugger off if you want. 742 00:59:23,287 --> 00:59:25,278 Now... 743 00:59:52,887 --> 00:59:55,117 (Sighs) Come here. 744 01:00:11,007 --> 01:00:12,998 Cuddle me, please. 745 01:00:15,487 --> 01:00:17,478 I'll clear up. 746 01:00:18,887 --> 01:00:20,878 It's a bloody mess in here. 747 01:00:22,847 --> 01:00:24,838 You stink of booze and fags. 748 01:00:30,167 --> 01:00:32,237 You stink of chip fat. 749 01:00:35,207 --> 01:00:37,198 It's this. 750 01:00:37,327 --> 01:00:39,557 No, it's not. 751 01:00:39,607 --> 01:00:41,598 Take it off. 752 01:01:03,567 --> 01:01:05,558 You'd better take this off and all. 753 01:01:08,407 --> 01:01:12,241 I can just fit you in before the Novices Handicap at Kempton. 754 01:01:12,287 --> 01:01:13,686 (Sobs) 755 01:01:13,727 --> 01:01:15,877 Oh, come on, come on. What's all the fuss? 756 01:01:18,647 --> 01:01:21,559 Hold me, please. Just hold me. 757 01:01:21,607 --> 01:01:23,438 What's the matter? 758 01:01:23,487 --> 01:01:26,001 Gone off it, have you? Not going to do it any more? 759 01:01:26,047 --> 01:01:27,605 No! 760 01:01:27,647 --> 01:01:30,036 We'll have to ring the papers about that, won't we? 761 01:01:31,607 --> 01:01:33,996 - I'll go to Bournemouth. - You what? 762 01:01:34,047 --> 01:01:36,720 You what? Bournemouth. 763 01:01:37,807 --> 01:01:40,082 If you don't want me, I'll run away to bloody Bournemouth. 764 01:01:40,127 --> 01:01:42,083 Course I want you. 765 01:01:42,127 --> 01:01:45,324 They don't have fish and chip shops in Bournemouth, you know. 766 01:01:45,367 --> 01:01:46,482 Or sheds. 767 01:01:46,527 --> 01:01:48,757 Now, what would you do without fish and chips, 768 01:01:48,807 --> 01:01:50,843 sheds and my old man, eh? 769 01:02:07,247 --> 01:02:09,477 - (Lynda sobs) - Come on. 770 01:02:09,527 --> 01:02:11,483 - Come on. - (Sobs) 771 01:04:04,247 --> 01:04:05,965 Come on, lovey. 772 01:04:33,247 --> 01:04:35,238 ( 773 01:04:44,767 --> 01:04:47,281 Hold it still, ladies. Stay still. 774 01:04:48,767 --> 01:04:50,758 Hold it just like that, ladies. 775 01:04:50,807 --> 01:04:51,876 Very still. 776 01:04:51,927 --> 01:04:53,440 Thank you. 777 01:04:53,487 --> 01:04:54,806 - (Clears throat) - Oh! 778 01:05:13,767 --> 01:05:17,362 - Thank you, sir. - Thank you. 779 01:05:17,407 --> 01:05:20,365 - Thank you, madam. - Thank you so much. 780 01:05:26,927 --> 01:05:28,121 Can I help you, sir? 781 01:05:29,887 --> 01:05:31,036 Cup of tea, please. 782 01:05:31,087 --> 01:05:32,998 We don't serve cups of tea, sir. 783 01:05:33,047 --> 01:05:35,436 Only pots, that's teapots, not piss pots, 784 01:05:35,487 --> 01:05:37,478 although we can always make exceptions. 785 01:05:37,527 --> 01:05:39,836 If you want a cup of tea you must go to the caff 786 01:05:39,887 --> 01:05:41,115 with all the other riffraff. 787 01:05:41,167 --> 01:05:43,476 - This is a caf . - Pot of tea then. 788 01:05:43,527 --> 01:05:44,676 (Whispers) Smart arse. 789 01:05:44,727 --> 01:05:47,878 - Language. - And a bit of cake. 790 01:05:49,527 --> 01:05:50,596 Or a bun. 791 01:05:50,647 --> 01:05:53,445 Bath bun, Chelsea bun, currant bun, honey bun, up your bum. 792 01:05:53,487 --> 01:05:55,398 Fairy buns, seed cake, cherry cake, fruit cake, 793 01:05:55,447 --> 01:05:57,961 ginger cake, Eccles cake, teacake, lemon cakes, 794 01:05:58,007 --> 01:05:58,996 Swiss rolls, dinkie rolls, 795 01:05:59,047 --> 01:06:02,198 jam sandwiches, macaroons, cheese straws and scones. 796 01:06:02,247 --> 01:06:03,919 I'll just have the tea. 797 01:06:03,967 --> 01:06:05,036 Please. 798 01:06:06,487 --> 01:06:08,478 - Please. - Thank you. 799 01:06:17,167 --> 01:06:19,237 - Him, there. Can you see? - Yeah. 800 01:06:19,287 --> 01:06:21,084 All right, serve him, will you, Vickie? 801 01:06:21,127 --> 01:06:25,200 And if he asks where I've gone, tell him I've gone to Singa-bloody-pore. 802 01:06:31,247 --> 01:06:33,556 Tea, sir. 803 01:06:33,607 --> 01:06:35,723 Where's the... Where's the other young lady? 804 01:06:35,767 --> 01:06:38,440 - Pardon? - Where's the waitress who took my order? 805 01:06:38,487 --> 01:06:41,445 Oh, you mean the waitress who took your order, sir. 806 01:06:41,487 --> 01:06:42,806 That's right. 807 01:06:42,847 --> 01:06:45,441 She's got an urgent call and had to leave, sir. 808 01:06:47,167 --> 01:06:49,158 Where to? 809 01:06:49,207 --> 01:06:50,606 Singa-bloody-pore, sir. 810 01:07:00,847 --> 01:07:02,838 (Lynda and Vickie laughing) 811 01:07:08,567 --> 01:07:10,717 There he is. 812 01:07:10,767 --> 01:07:13,281 There he is. There he is. 813 01:07:15,847 --> 01:07:18,680 He thinks I've gone to Singa-bloody-pore! 814 01:07:18,727 --> 01:07:20,718 (Both laugh) 815 01:07:21,927 --> 01:07:23,918 - Lynda! - (Giggling) 816 01:07:30,727 --> 01:07:32,524 Sh! 817 01:07:42,927 --> 01:07:44,679 Lynda. 818 01:07:46,007 --> 01:07:48,157 I wish he'd clear off. 819 01:07:50,287 --> 01:07:52,278 (Laughing) 820 01:07:54,567 --> 01:07:56,956 Go away! Clear off! 821 01:08:02,247 --> 01:08:04,522 Lynda! 822 01:08:07,407 --> 01:08:09,523 Lynda! 823 01:08:09,567 --> 01:08:12,718 Why don't you just bugger off? Go away! 824 01:08:12,767 --> 01:08:14,644 Can't you see where you're not wanted? 825 01:08:14,687 --> 01:08:16,962 I don't need none of you, just bugger off! 826 01:08:18,767 --> 01:08:20,758 Lyndie! 827 01:08:20,807 --> 01:08:24,277 Lyndie, oh, I say! Never called me Lyndie before. 828 01:08:24,327 --> 01:08:27,478 Must be after something. Ha, bloody, ha! 829 01:08:27,527 --> 01:08:29,245 But I miss you. I came to see you. 830 01:08:29,287 --> 01:08:32,723 - I bet I know what you're missing! - Look, you just cleared off! 831 01:08:32,767 --> 01:08:34,519 I come back, you'd gone. 832 01:08:34,567 --> 01:08:36,797 I thought you'd still be there, I really did. 833 01:08:36,847 --> 01:08:39,361 Oh... just bugger off, I don't want to think about it. 834 01:08:39,407 --> 01:08:42,319 What's to think about? Come on, I'll take you for a drink. 835 01:08:42,367 --> 01:08:44,961 - You're just after your oats. - And your mate. 836 01:08:45,007 --> 01:08:47,726 I'll take you both for a drink... a meal, if you want. 837 01:08:47,767 --> 01:08:49,962 Oh, look out, Vickie, he's after the two of us. 838 01:08:50,007 --> 01:08:52,840 - Ahh, I bet you're missing it as well. - Do you? 839 01:08:52,887 --> 01:08:55,162 How much? How much do you want to bet? 840 01:08:55,207 --> 01:08:57,038 I wouldn't want to take your money. 841 01:08:57,087 --> 01:08:58,759 Lynda up the duff, then, 842 01:08:58,807 --> 01:09:02,243 what odds do you put on that, eh, Mr Clever Dick, eh? 843 01:09:02,287 --> 01:09:06,166 Oh, look, that's shut his gob. That's put a crease in his brand-new suit! 844 01:09:06,207 --> 01:09:08,277 - I don't believe you. - Don't you? 845 01:09:08,327 --> 01:09:10,557 - You're joking! - Am I? 846 01:09:10,607 --> 01:09:12,677 I don't believe you. 847 01:09:12,727 --> 01:09:15,480 - How? - How what? 848 01:09:15,527 --> 01:09:17,119 How do you know? 849 01:09:17,167 --> 01:09:21,285 You're the one that should know! You put it up me, Mr Bareback Rider. 850 01:09:21,327 --> 01:09:24,364 You knew when you were gonna spunk. How the hell was I supposed to know? 851 01:09:24,407 --> 01:09:26,204 No, you soft cow, I mean how do you know? 852 01:09:26,247 --> 01:09:28,477 - Are you sure? - You're the one all eyes. 853 01:09:28,527 --> 01:09:31,166 - Look! Can't you see? - No, I can't. 854 01:09:31,207 --> 01:09:33,323 All you see is tits and arses. 855 01:09:34,247 --> 01:09:36,966 - Have you seen a doctor? - Huh! 856 01:09:37,007 --> 01:09:38,998 Then how do you know it's mine? 857 01:09:39,047 --> 01:09:42,926 If it walks with a limp and thinks with its prick, then it's yours. 858 01:09:42,967 --> 01:09:46,039 But how do you know? I don't know that, do I? 859 01:09:46,087 --> 01:09:48,555 - You stupid... - (Vickie) Lynda! 860 01:09:48,607 --> 01:09:50,006 - Get off! - Lynda! 861 01:09:50,047 --> 01:09:52,322 - Get off! - (Lynda) Get off of me! Get off! 862 01:09:52,407 --> 01:09:55,285 (Eric) Lynda! (Vickie) Lynda, stop it! 863 01:09:55,327 --> 01:09:57,397 (Lynda) Leave me alone! (Eric) Piss off, you... 864 01:09:57,447 --> 01:09:59,802 (Lynda) Leave... me... alone! 865 01:09:59,847 --> 01:10:01,838 (Eric) Piss off! 866 01:10:04,207 --> 01:10:05,686 Whoops-a-daisy. 867 01:10:05,727 --> 01:10:07,126 Lynda, come on. 868 01:10:07,167 --> 01:10:09,158 Here we are. 869 01:10:32,407 --> 01:10:34,398 Where's the paper? 870 01:10:50,207 --> 01:10:52,277 (Whispers) This is it. 871 01:11:01,447 --> 01:11:03,517 Doesn't look too bad. 872 01:11:05,527 --> 01:11:07,802 What does she do? Did Doris say? 873 01:11:07,847 --> 01:11:10,486 No. 874 01:11:10,527 --> 01:11:14,566 - Is it knitting needles and all that? - I don't know. 875 01:11:17,767 --> 01:11:19,758 How much? 876 01:11:27,647 --> 01:11:29,763 Where am I gonna get that sort of money? 877 01:11:39,047 --> 01:11:41,117 Come on, let's go and have a cup of tea. 878 01:12:00,567 --> 01:12:03,127 - (Crash) - Oh, sorry madam. I'm sorry. 879 01:12:09,807 --> 01:12:11,081 Yes, what do you want? 880 01:12:13,567 --> 01:12:14,716 Can I help you, sir? 881 01:12:14,767 --> 01:12:16,803 From the moment you walked through that door I thought, 882 01:12:16,847 --> 01:12:18,997 "That's my daughter and she's a slut!" 883 01:12:19,047 --> 01:12:20,321 Thank you, sir. Will that be all, sir? 884 01:12:20,367 --> 01:12:23,040 Don't be clever, Lynda. From where I'm sitting you don't look clever. 885 01:12:23,087 --> 01:12:24,805 I know why you're here and I don't want to discuss it. 886 01:12:24,847 --> 01:12:27,998 So, do you want a pot of tea or would you just prefer to clear off? 887 01:12:28,047 --> 01:12:30,117 - I'm disgusted, Lynda. - With lemon, sir? 888 01:12:30,167 --> 01:12:32,727 I thought I could have a perfectly reasonable conversation with you. 889 01:12:32,767 --> 01:12:35,679 - I thought I could come here and... - I don't want you here, I'm at work. 890 01:12:35,727 --> 01:12:38,161 And I've got Hermann Goebbels breathing down my neck, just clear off! 891 01:12:38,207 --> 01:12:41,722 I thought we could have a reasonable conversation but all I wanna do is clout you. 892 01:12:41,767 --> 01:12:43,723 (Lynda) Would you like a pot of tea first, sir? 893 01:12:43,767 --> 01:12:45,564 Listen to you and your mouth, look where it's got you. 894 01:12:45,607 --> 01:12:48,724 Dad, I can't discuss it. Will you just go away, I need this job! 895 01:12:48,767 --> 01:12:51,645 - You're going to need more than a job. - Oh, please, just bugger off! 896 01:12:51,687 --> 01:12:53,564 Is anything the matter, Miss Mansell? 897 01:12:53,607 --> 01:12:55,837 - Is everything to your satisfaction, sir? - No, it's not. 898 01:12:55,887 --> 01:12:58,003 (Mimics manager) Is everything to your satisfaction, sir? 899 01:12:58,047 --> 01:12:59,275 You see, what can you do? 900 01:12:59,327 --> 01:13:01,045 - How do you put up with it? - Oh, shut up! 901 01:13:01,087 --> 01:13:03,647 This is disgraceful. Go to the kitchen immediately, Miss Mansell. 902 01:13:03,687 --> 01:13:05,837 No, I won't go to the kitchen. Stuff the bloody kitchen. 903 01:13:05,887 --> 01:13:07,366 - Just watch your mouth! - Please! 904 01:13:07,407 --> 01:13:09,477 This is what it's like, you see, this is what you get. 905 01:13:09,527 --> 01:13:11,643 - Now you can begin to see my side of it. - Oh, please, just bugger off! 906 01:13:11,687 --> 01:13:12,676 - Now, please! - I said please. 907 01:13:12,727 --> 01:13:14,843 - Do you see? - Look, what is going on? 908 01:13:14,887 --> 01:13:16,843 - I've given her a lot of time... - Please, sir! 909 01:13:16,887 --> 01:13:18,639 - Made a lot of sacrifices. - Oh, God! 910 01:13:18,687 --> 01:13:22,441 - Though, God knows, you wouldn't think it. - What are you staring at, you old bag? 911 01:13:22,487 --> 01:13:25,001 Please. Mrs... Madam... please! 912 01:13:25,047 --> 01:13:26,878 - Well, she is an old bag! - That is enough! 913 01:13:26,927 --> 01:13:28,440 - Lynda! - Allow me to apologise. 914 01:13:28,487 --> 01:13:32,639 She whinges about everything. Yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, every bloody day. 915 01:13:32,687 --> 01:13:34,439 That is enough. Language, please! 916 01:13:34,487 --> 01:13:35,920 Well, it's true, what's wrong with the truth? 917 01:13:35,967 --> 01:13:38,037 You're fired! You are dismissed. 918 01:13:38,087 --> 01:13:39,440 - Get out! - No, I won't! 919 01:13:39,487 --> 01:13:41,955 This one goes around with his brown nose up in the air, 920 01:13:42,007 --> 01:13:44,601 down on the carpet, la-di-dah this, la-di-dah that. 921 01:13:44,647 --> 01:13:47,241 The cook spits in the buns and we all piss in the teapots. 922 01:13:47,287 --> 01:13:50,165 - That is enough. Out! - She's a bad lot, and that's the truth. 923 01:13:50,207 --> 01:13:52,243 Nothing but trouble, that's the way it's always been. 924 01:13:52,287 --> 01:13:55,279 - This is my father speaking. - Since she could speak, she's uttered filth. 925 01:13:55,327 --> 01:13:58,364 From the day she uttered her first word her tongue has caused nothing but trouble. 926 01:13:58,407 --> 01:14:00,125 - This is my father. - Sometimes I doubt it. 927 01:14:00,167 --> 01:14:03,682 - An insult to my dead mother. - I'm sorry but this cannot go on. 928 01:14:03,727 --> 01:14:07,276 I'm up the duff! That's what's up his nose! I'm pregnant! In the club! 929 01:14:07,327 --> 01:14:09,477 Right, that's it! That's enough! 930 01:14:09,527 --> 01:14:11,722 A man's willy has entered my person 931 01:14:11,767 --> 01:14:13,962 - and left a little visitor behind. - Get down! 932 01:14:14,007 --> 01:14:16,282 - This is a matter for the police. - This is the man 933 01:14:16,327 --> 01:14:18,238 - who once gave one to Gracie Fields. - Down! 934 01:14:18,287 --> 01:14:19,561 I'm calling the police. 935 01:14:19,607 --> 01:14:22,360 - A member of the British Legion. - Get down! 936 01:14:22,407 --> 01:14:25,444 - Am I the only one who does it? - This is not my daughter. 937 01:14:25,487 --> 01:14:27,318 - What do you lot do, eh? - Not my daughter. 938 01:14:27,367 --> 01:14:29,483 - What do you play with in bed at night? - I disown her! 939 01:14:29,527 --> 01:14:32,087 Hands up all those that like willies, I do! 940 01:14:33,087 --> 01:14:34,600 The police are coming. 941 01:14:34,647 --> 01:14:36,683 - Balls! - Ladies and Gentlemen... 942 01:14:36,727 --> 01:14:40,003 I would like to apologise for this disgraceful display... 943 01:14:40,047 --> 01:14:42,242 So what, I'm up the duff, who cares? 944 01:14:42,287 --> 01:14:44,676 - I will settle. - I like willies! 945 01:14:44,727 --> 01:14:48,436 - Get her down! - All these teas on me. Right? 946 01:14:48,487 --> 01:14:52,321 Sex! All of you! All you old bags look as if you could do with a nice bit of hot willy! 947 01:14:52,367 --> 01:14:56,519 - Get her down! - Sex! 948 01:14:56,567 --> 01:14:58,797 (Loud crash) 949 01:15:29,327 --> 01:15:33,002 (Boy) It's getting kind of close to the New Year and I'm feeling sentimental. 950 01:15:33,047 --> 01:15:35,925 I'm going to sing a song that means a lot to me and... 951 01:15:36,367 --> 01:15:37,482 somebody else. 952 01:15:37,527 --> 01:15:39,358 And if you don't like it that's just too bad. 953 01:15:39,407 --> 01:15:41,398 After all, I own the joint. 954 01:15:44,007 --> 01:15:47,966 955 01:15:48,527 --> 01:15:53,078 956 01:15:53,127 --> 01:15:55,436 957 01:15:55,487 --> 01:16:01,323 958 01:16:01,367 --> 01:16:05,565 959 01:16:05,607 --> 01:16:09,998 960 01:16:10,047 --> 01:16:14,837 961 01:16:14,887 --> 01:16:16,878 How long is it now? 962 01:16:18,287 --> 01:16:20,278 Three months, more or less. 963 01:16:21,527 --> 01:16:23,518 It's not too late. 964 01:16:24,567 --> 01:16:26,558 No. 965 01:16:28,687 --> 01:16:30,678 What happened? 966 01:16:32,167 --> 01:16:34,158 When? 967 01:16:34,207 --> 01:16:38,086 Your father came home very sorry for himself. Whatever happened? 968 01:16:39,207 --> 01:16:41,243 Silly bugger. 969 01:16:41,287 --> 01:16:44,199 I stood on a chair in the Paris Tea Rooms and shouted. 970 01:16:44,247 --> 01:16:47,717 I can't remember what I said. It was terrible. 971 01:16:48,567 --> 01:16:50,956 He offered to pay for everyone's teas. 972 01:16:53,447 --> 01:16:55,756 You didn't need to do that... 973 01:16:55,807 --> 01:16:57,798 not to your father. 974 01:17:00,327 --> 01:17:02,477 I'm not coming back, you know. 975 01:17:02,527 --> 01:17:04,518 No matter what. 976 01:17:06,047 --> 01:17:10,802 Where you gonna go then? Who's gonna want you with a baby? 977 01:17:10,847 --> 01:17:12,803 Where you gonna live? 978 01:17:12,847 --> 01:17:16,920 - Not in that dump. - Nobody's asking you to, my dear. 979 01:17:17,807 --> 01:17:21,436 Things like this don't happen in that sort of town. 980 01:17:21,487 --> 01:17:23,603 I can just see your father's face. 981 01:17:25,807 --> 01:17:28,446 Go down well at the Freemasons. 982 01:17:30,487 --> 01:17:34,321 He didn't have to stick with you, you know, when your mum died. 983 01:17:34,367 --> 01:17:36,358 Nor your sister. 984 01:17:36,407 --> 01:17:40,002 - My boring bloody sister. - Now, you leave her alone, she's all right. 985 01:17:41,887 --> 01:17:45,118 Thank God she's not like you. Two of you like that, my God! 986 01:17:46,727 --> 01:17:48,843 He could have put you in a home, you know. 987 01:17:50,367 --> 01:17:54,280 Not many men would have done what he did on his own with two young girls. 988 01:17:56,967 --> 01:18:00,277 - He didn't love me. - Oh, yes, he did. 989 01:18:00,327 --> 01:18:03,000 He didn't show it. 990 01:18:03,047 --> 01:18:06,596 You can't show that kind of thing, not in this day and age. 991 01:18:10,447 --> 01:18:13,086 You're a pretty young thing... 992 01:18:13,127 --> 01:18:15,436 you're funny, but you're pretty. 993 01:18:16,407 --> 01:18:20,764 You could get yourself a nice husband. Somebody who'd really look after you. 994 01:18:23,447 --> 01:18:25,119 Do you think? 995 01:18:25,167 --> 01:18:27,681 Yeah, I do. 996 01:18:27,727 --> 01:18:30,560 But not like that. 997 01:18:30,607 --> 01:18:33,405 Who's going to want you like that? 998 01:18:34,727 --> 01:18:36,718 It's not too late. Not yet. 999 01:18:39,447 --> 01:18:42,519 Would you know where to go if you wanted to get rid of it? 1000 01:18:43,767 --> 01:18:46,918 It's all right for you to say that. It's not you that has to do it. 1001 01:18:46,967 --> 01:18:49,720 No, that's right, Lyndie, you're right. 1002 01:18:55,647 --> 01:18:57,638 What if I had it? 1003 01:18:57,687 --> 01:18:59,678 Then have it adopted. 1004 01:19:01,527 --> 01:19:03,518 You must've thought about it. 1005 01:19:05,367 --> 01:19:07,119 You keep that kid and nobody'll want you. 1006 01:19:07,167 --> 01:19:10,682 Nobody'll want to know you, nobody'll want to own you. Nobody. 1007 01:19:12,647 --> 01:19:16,526 Forget the whole thing, bury it. Nobody need know a thing about it. 1008 01:19:18,727 --> 01:19:23,755 Christ, it's tough enough, you don't have to go round banging your head with a hammer. 1009 01:19:23,807 --> 01:19:25,798 Look at me. 1010 01:19:25,847 --> 01:19:30,637 Look at your father. Well, I'm hardly ancient, neither's he. 1011 01:19:30,687 --> 01:19:33,997 I lost Bill, he lost your mum and we're on our own, stuck! 1012 01:19:34,047 --> 01:19:36,038 There's always enough pain. 1013 01:19:37,407 --> 01:19:40,046 What about Maisie Mathews? 1014 01:19:40,087 --> 01:19:42,043 Well, why shouldn't he? 1015 01:19:42,087 --> 01:19:45,443 What's he expected to do the rest of his life? 1016 01:19:45,487 --> 01:19:47,478 I wish I had somebody. 1017 01:19:49,287 --> 01:19:52,757 I hope he used a plonker. I'd hate to see what'd come out of her. 1018 01:19:55,327 --> 01:19:57,921 That's good advice, coming from you. 1019 01:20:04,447 --> 01:20:07,007 You're gonna have to make your own mind up. 1020 01:20:07,047 --> 01:20:09,481 - I've got to go. - Not yet. 1021 01:20:09,527 --> 01:20:14,203 It's the buses. I spent ages waiting for you. 1022 01:20:14,247 --> 01:20:17,125 - I'm sorry. - Here. 1023 01:20:18,047 --> 01:20:20,436 Now, think about what I said. 1024 01:20:20,487 --> 01:20:22,682 You've got to look after yourself, Lyndie. 1025 01:20:23,487 --> 01:20:25,079 Here. 1026 01:20:27,447 --> 01:20:30,439 Would you know where to go if that's what you decided? 1027 01:20:34,887 --> 01:20:38,118 - To get rid of it? - If that's what you decided. 1028 01:20:39,927 --> 01:20:41,679 I could find out. 1029 01:20:43,487 --> 01:20:46,524 I'm going to go, so just you take care. 1030 01:22:52,607 --> 01:22:54,598 (Man) There you go. 1031 01:23:36,487 --> 01:23:38,478 Hello, you lot. Hello, Brian. 1032 01:24:19,887 --> 01:24:21,923 Yes, it's mine. 1033 01:24:22,447 --> 01:24:24,438 All mine. 1034 01:25:03,207 --> 01:25:05,198 (Doorbell) 1035 01:25:34,287 --> 01:25:37,484 1036 01:25:37,527 --> 01:25:41,964 1037 01:25:42,767 --> 01:25:46,760 1038 01:25:47,607 --> 01:25:52,920 1039 01:25:52,967 --> 01:25:55,686 1040 01:25:55,727 --> 01:26:00,278 1041 01:26:00,327 --> 01:26:04,923 1042 01:26:23,207 --> 01:26:25,437 1043 01:26:25,487 --> 01:26:28,126 1044 01:26:28,167 --> 01:26:30,727 1045 01:26:30,767 --> 01:26:32,758 1046 01:26:33,767 --> 01:26:35,997 1047 01:26:36,047 --> 01:26:37,878 1048 01:26:37,927 --> 01:26:40,395 1049 01:26:40,447 --> 01:26:42,677 1050 01:26:42,727 --> 01:26:45,195 1051 01:26:45,247 --> 01:26:47,841 1052 01:26:47,887 --> 01:26:49,878 1053 01:26:51,127 --> 01:26:53,163 1054 01:26:53,207 --> 01:26:54,845 1055 01:26:54,887 --> 01:26:57,321 1056 01:26:57,727 --> 01:26:59,718 1057 01:27:00,287 --> 01:27:07,921